November 23, 2006
When Jim asked Susan to marry him 15 years ago, she said no. She knew that in time her health would deteriorate so much that she would become an invalid, and besides, she could not have children.
His proposal was out of the question.
Susan and Jim were young adults, and to most at that point, life looks promising enough.
Amazingly, despite Susan’s poor health, life still provided hope for a bright and happy future in Jim’s view.
He would not take no for an answer.
Susan eventually acquiesced, and they were married.
Today, fifteen years later, the time Susan foretold is here.
Instead of feeling sad and miserable though, Susan and Jim are thankful and joyful.
They count their days, not years, one at a time.
Let me back up and tell you more about Susan.
At age 18, Susan was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. She could live with that, but then came the Lupus. As a result of the invading Lupus, she had to have her tubes tied because a pregnancy could kill her.
Enter Jim, the marriage, and their life together, all-the-while accompanied by the silent partner of relentless disease.
They did better than cope, however.
Susan and Jim vowed to live life to the fullest with no regrets, always looking forward.
For several years Susan tackled a professional career with gusto. When health issues surfaced, she would stop working for awhile or work from home until she stabilized. This continued on and off for years. Susan became quite respected in her chosen career field and managed to live a full life.
Better than most, in fact.
That is, until recently when her body began attacking her in new and vicious ways.
A benign but growing tumor took hold at the base of her brain.
She developed muscular sclerosis.
The Lupus, fibromyalgia, and rheumatoid arthritis worsened.
Strikingly beautiful, few noticed Susan’s disabilities, until of late.
Today, her hands are gnarled, her facial muscles frozen, and she walks with difficulty. Sometimes, co-workers cannot understand her speech.
Yes, Susan is still working.
And, beyond that, she is a weekly cross-country air commuter, difficult enough for the healthy. She lives in one state and travels to wherever her company sends her. Sometimes Jim will join her there for a week or two at a time. Occasionally, it is easier for her to stay than fly home, especially if her pain is particularly bad that week.
In a special carry-on bag, Susan transports her arsenal of meds including steroids, special foods, and morphine for the pain.
She also has to carry medical documentation to allow her to pass through security due to the drugs she carries with her.
Once, a co-worker tried to carry that special medicine bag on board for Susan because it is indeed heavy.
Susan would not hear of it, “No, this is one of the few things I can do for myself. Please let me carry it. I want to do as much as I can for myself to feel like a normal person.”
When the weather is cold, Susan is miserable. She relies on hand warmers like hunters and football fans make use of during the winter. A heating pad is a necessity as well.
This week, Susan was not able to board the plane for the trip home. Jim made the two-day road trip in order to drive her back. Her body was so stiff and racked with pain that she could not board the plane.
Friends say, Susan and Jim act like absolutely nothing is wrong, and they always look forward to another tomorrow.
Jim knows Susan is not long for this world.
Perhaps, she does, too.
At any rate, they consider themselves very lucky.
For the rest of us, we can take lessons from Susan and Jim who live life without complaint and have nothing but thanksgiving for the joy life brings.
Lucky them.
